Aaaahhhhh....my (hopefully still) loyal bloggie readers. I'm sorry I've been absent from this space lately. I feel like such a bum for not keeping up with my posts regularly. The truth is, I've just been having a hard time balancing the different facets of my life lately.
It's because of many things really. But mostly stemming from the fact that, since the new year, I've decided once and for all, that I will take back my life and start living a healthier lifestyle. I was tired of looking in the mirror and feeling less than satisfied with myself. I felt tired a lot. Sore and stiff in my muscles all the time. My clothes (even my "fat pants" - ladies, you know what I'm talking about) didn't fit well anymore. I generally would eat til I felt overly full and even sick. I had a bad "clean your plate" mentality about every meal. I felt run down. And yes - I wanted to look good in a bikini again, dammit. I decided it was enough.
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| Reasons... |
At first, even the thought of getting back in shape was so overwhelming. I felt I knew nothing. And it had been years - um...about nine or so? - since I was last on a regular fitness program. I didn't know what a portion was. I didn't know what an ounce of meat looked like, or how many chips was in an actual serving. I knew very little about the actual nutritional content of the food I was fueling my body with and what kind of nutrients a body really needs on a daily basis. It was all very foreign and quite overwhelming.
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| If not now - when? |
But like I said, enough was enough. This is my life. My body. If I don't feel good, or like how I look - who's responsibility is that? If I don't take care of me, who will? So I just went for it. I jumped in with both feet. Well, my heart and mind jumped in. In reality, and physically - I took baby steps. And then some more. Then a few bigger steps...and every day I take another. And though I'm not "leaps and bounds" yet - my steps are all in the right direction.
In going through all this - trying these new things, feeling out this new flow in my life, adjusting priorities and learning more about myself and what I need physically and mentally - I've been struggling to find a balance between these new components and other things that are important to me as well.
Meaning - my crafting has taken a little bit of a back burner lately. Listing things on Etsy - back burner. Personal art and exploration of new creative ideas - back burner. Blogging - back burner. This is not, in any way, something I want to be permanent. Not at all. But it is something I thought would fall back into place fairly easily once I got into this new groove of mine. Not so much.
I'm realizing that lifestyle changes kind of force
entire lifestyle changes. I used to come home from work (Mon - Fri, 9 to 5-er - that's me), eat whatever was easy, take care of some house stuff, relax, spend some time in the craftroom or do whatever else tickled my fancy. Now - I leave work, go shopping (b/c healthy food does not generally come from a box - which requires more frequent grocery trips) come home, work out, shower, cook a healthy meal for me and Jon, clean up and by this time it's usually around at least 8:00 pm. And I am a night owl by nature - but working a day job and having these new priorities when I get home - it kind of works against that. I
have to get my buns in bed by a reasonable hour or I
will be wearing some serious cranky pants the next day. So that really leaves only a couple solid hours for housework and personal hobbies.
*sigh*
So, it's been a little bit of a struggle lately to find a
new balance. I will not give up on taking care of myself. I feel so. much. better. With each workout I complete, I notice I can do more reps, or kick higher, or whatever - I'm getting stronger. That's such an amazing feeling. I have more energy. I feel leaner - more flexy. I feel good. I will not let that go.
But it is also very important to me to follow my creative dreams as well. I have big plans for
my Etsy shop. I have so many great ideas for new product lines. I have a
pile of awesome vintage stuff that's waiting to be photographed, etc. There are numerous personal projects I'd like to complete (my craft room sewing table for one!). I'd like to paint again. Get back to drawing. I have dreams, my lovelies, big dreams. And lots of them. I'm just havin a bit of a hard time getting everything to fall into its place around here.
But I'll get there.
So if you're wondering where I've been - I hope you understand. I'm trying. And I'll be back here on a more regular basis soon. But I hope, until then, you'll bear with me.<3
Have you ever gone through anything like this? Any personal struggles where the things that were most important in your life ended up competing against one another for the limited hours in your day - leaving you feel a little lost and unsure? Please comment - I'd love to hear what you have to say. Even you lurkers. ;) Introduce yourself and put your two cents in. How often do we get a chance to share completely solicited advice? Haha!
Also, I think in the future, instead of being so concerned about trying to make all the things I post here be business and crafty-related, or tutorials, or recipes, etc., I'd like for this to be a place I share
more of myself. And also a place where we can help each other and be a space for comfort and support. The struggles. The accomplishments. Maybe get a bit more personal (I think this may be the most personal post I've ever done, actually. Eek!). After all - it is
Flight of the Pook - and
all of these things are a part of my "flight" - right?
